The Sacking of Nassau Port
by mypiratecat1
Summary: Humorous one shot.  We all know that the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow sacked Nassau Port without firing a single shot.... but it did not quite go as planned, according to Bootstrap Bill Turner!


_**Disclaimer: **Like always, they belong to the Mouse, but I like t' play wif them!_

_**Author's note: **And as always, in my lovely Pirates universe, William is free from his curse, with Jack's help, and he and his family are crew aboard the Pearl. Pirate Cat_

_This one shot is the answer to a challenge from purplediamond7. Pirate Cat tips her tricorn and raises her mug of rum in salute! _

۞

The Black Pearl was anchored in a hidden cove in the Bahama Islands, seeking shelter from the skirting winds and rain of a hurricane that had passed them to the south. The seas had been heavy, as the captain and crew had fully expected, and they sought a safe place to ride the storm out for a day. The cove that they were hiding in was safe, and the small island was uninhabited, so they tied everything down securely and tried to stay dry.

The weather was naturally wet, so most of the crew had taken the longboat and had refuge in a small cave on the beach that Captain Jack Sparrow had lived in for a short time, during his years hunting for his ship, after he was mutineed upon by Hector Barbossa, and marooned. He spent the better part of a decade tracking the ship around the globe, always a step behind. He remembered this place of shelter, and knew that there was plenty of fresh water from a nearby spring, and coconuts for the taking, so the mighty Black Pearl and her crew were comfortable for a night or two.

William Turner the Second, Jack's trusted first mate and best friend, and his wife, Elizabeth Swann Turner, chose to stay aboard the Pearl with Jack, along with their baby, Little Will, who was tucked into a basket next to his mother, sleeping peacefully upon this dreary afternoon. The ship was rocking to and fro very pleasantly, as the worst of the storm had passed, and it was at this time that William's father and Jack's old friend, Bootstrap Bill Turner had taken a few days off from his duties aboard the Flying Dutchman to visit his little family and make sure that they were riding out the hurricane in safety. With Jack's second sense about stormy weather, he was reassured to find that they had put in with plenty of time to spare.

The gray skies rained above them as they all sat upon the main deck of the Pearl, a small section of dark sail strung above them all as a tarp. It was too warm and humid to sit inside of the cabins, and definitely too warm to go below, so they were sitting cozily under their temporary tent, sipping rum and swapping tales.

"So, Jack..." Elizabeth turned to the dark, handsome captain as he wrung out his dreadlocks of rain. He wrinkled up his face peevishly, then latently looked at Elizabeth and said, "Hmm? Wot?"

Elizabeth pulled her chair up closely and took her small, watered down mug of rum in her hands and said, eagerly, "You never told us about how you were able to sack Nassau Port without firing a single shot! I have read about it and heard parts of the story, but never from you! I want to hear how you did it!"

William and Bill glanced at each other and winked... it was always a bet that Jack Sparrow would never tell any story about himself without adding a great deal of flourish, since he was the one that was mostly responsible for spreading his own legend. Most of the stories told about him were true to an extent, but never completely true, since he was the one who started them in the first place. He was known for more bravery (which was true, unless one witnessed him screaming in terror), more cleverness (which was also true unless one was called upon to figure out how to get him out of trouble), and more lovers (which was in doubt, somewhat, since there were more stories about the captain and more women than he could have possibly known, even if he were a hundred years old).

"Ah!" Jack grinned, as he vainly inspected his fingernails and bobbed his head from one side to the other, making the beads in his long, black hair jingle. "I should like t' tell you that one, Izzy, after I nip off t' th' rum cellar an' replenish our supply of that which is th' nectar o' th' gods. I shall return directly!" And with that, he took his ring of keys and went below, humming to himself and muttering oaths as he slipped on one loose step, and noisily caught himself on a rope below the main deck. They all grinned.

Bill had lit his pipe, and was gazing at William and Elizabeth with sparkling blue eyes through the tobacco smoke, as William leaned back in his chair and stretched his long legs out, folding his hands behind his head, the tails of his light blue bandana trailing down behind him. "Well, Father, are you going to start the story and see how Jack finishes it?" he grinned. Elizabeth leaned in closer to William as the rain fell harder, and Bill chuckled, and began, "Well, it is one of th' adventures that Jack is best known for, but it didn't exactly go as planned!"

"This took place when Jack was a very young man, th' first year that he was a pirate captain after the Black Pearl had been reborn from the depths. I was his quartermaster, an' Hector Barbossa was first mate. We had been watching Nassau Port for several days, as there was a rather large treasury there for th' entire Bahamian region, an' there was also several fine homes there, occupied by th' rich owners o' th' sugar plantations."

Bill puffed upon his pipe, keeping a watchful ear open for Jack's return, and an amused grin upon his face. "Now, you both know how Jack feels about slavery, so it was only natural tha' he should enjoy th' thought o' hittin' th' plantation owners where it hurt... th' treasury! There was also a ship that had a cargo full o' fine Caribbean rum waitin' t' take out t' Port Royal an' points beyond. It was ripe for th' pickin'."

As the young Turners leaned in to hear more, Bill continued, "Bear in mind tha' Jack was fairly new t' piratin', even though he was not always on th' up an' up as a privateer, if ye catch me drift," Bill winked. "He an' Hector scoped out Nassau Port, as it was not as large as, say, Port Royal, but was more sizable than Tortuga City. Jack had a plan t' put crewmen in four corners o' the town, an' then, from far out in the bay, a signal lamp would be waved from the highest yardarm o' th' Pearl, at which time fires would be started simaltaneously t' draw th' townfolk out o' the main part o' th' town. Arson... t' create confusion an' leave a part of th' town where th' treasury was located relatively unguarded!"

As there was still no sign of Jack, Bill leaned in conspiratorially, and went on with his story, his eyes intensely watching his captive audience of two. "Well, all went well, until Hector, Jack an' meself took it upon ourselves t' set a fire t' the ship that carried the cargo of rum, after we had loaded it all into longboats an' headed them out t' th' Pearl with Masters Pintel, Ragetti an' Twigg! They thought it would be a fine distraction an' would allow our crewmen t' sneak round back o' th' docks an' leave out once they had sacked th' treasury... little did we know..." Bill paused, as William and Elizabeth looked at him with widening eyes, "... little did we know that the town was planning a big jubilee celebration, an' th' _incoming_ cargo from the ship included Chinese fireworks!"

William's and Elizabeth's mouths dropped open! They had unknowingly set fire to a ship full of fireworks...no wonder it didn't go as planned!

۞

Jack stood over them, bottles of rum in hand and a dark frown upon his face. "I've a good mind t' not be sharin'," he said, pouting. "Which version o' th' story are ye tellin', Bill?" Jack looked very much like a disappointed child for not getting to tell his own version of one of his most famous legends.

Bill leaned back in his chair, as William bit his cheeks so hard that they nearly bled, trying not to laugh, and Elizabeth had her hand over her mouth and tears of mirth welling up in her eyes. Bill grinned and said, "I am tellin' th' true version!'

Jack rolled his eyes and smiled in resignation, sitting down and popping a cork, "Carry on, then."

Bill took a sip of his rum, and straightened his cap upon his head for better effect. He smiled and said, "As I was sayin'... th' three o' us thought it would be a fine diversion t' set fire t' the ship that we had just helped ourselves to, as general mayhem was beginnin' t' break out all over town. Flames were shootin' up into th' sky from all over, as our crew were already startin' t' run back through town with seabags full o' loot from the treasury, the town's only sheriff in hot pursuit! Th' townfolk weren't payin' a bit of attention t' us, as they were tryin' t' keep the whole town from burnin' t' th' ground! There were people runnin' everywhere, along with chickens, pigs, goats, ducks, an' assorted pirates!"

Jack was even leaning in with wide, excited eyes, by now, enjoying Bill's yarn and seeming to forget that he had been there. "Wot happened next?" All of the Turners looked at him for a moment, trying valiantly not to laugh.

"Well, just as all of our crew was scramblin' t' th' docks, all bloody hell broke loose! Suddenly, rockets of every color an' size ye can imagine began t' shoot outta the cargo hold o' that ship, an' bombs started t' go off all around us! Her sails were set afire right away, an' it was like it was rainin' sparks, I swear! It was like every cannon ever forged was goin' off in our ears! God's spoons, pirates were scatterin' all over hell, with sea bags an' other swag flyin' through th' air like lead shot!'

He paused to take a puff of his pipe, as his three listeners held their breath. Jack fluttered his hands and cried out, "Wot happened???"

Bill began to laugh out loud, as he chuckled, "Jack, you were there!" He began to laugh harder, as he slapped his knee and said to a grinning William and Elizabeth, "You two haven't seen anything until you see Jack Sparrow being chased by Chinese rockets! He had a torch in his hand... ye've both taken in th' spectacle of Jack runnin'...and he was scamperin' for all he was worth down th' docks, screaming his bloody head off! One rocket damn near did take 'is head off... instead, it took 'is hat an' bandana, an' set some of 'is dreadlocks t' smokin'!" Jack looked at Bill, mustache twitching indignantly, as William and Elizabeth roared with laughter, tears streaming down their faces.

"Alright, then, Bill, let us not forget wot happened t' you!" the captain retorted, as he took a large swig of rum and joined into the merriment. With sparkling brown eyes, he looked at a gasping young couple, and said, waving his hands, "Picture Bootstrap Bill Turner, laughing at his bedeviled captain, as a rocket flared off HIS way! Zoom!" Jack's hand swooped in front of them, "... he damn near ended up in Venezuela, but instead he leaped backwards an' went, arse first, right into Nassau Bay!"

Bill laughed out loud at his own memory of the event, as Jack also began to laugh, shoulders shaking with giggles, and golden teeth gleaming. Bill continued, "But then there was poor Hector!"

At that, Jack threw his head back and laughed like none of them had ever seen him laugh before, a deep, throaty, husky laugh. "Oh _bugger! _Hector's bloody, scraggly beard caught on fire! Damn near took the brim o' his hat, too! Oh, bloody hell! He was standin' there, beatin' 'imself in th' face wif his hands!" Elizabeth started to snort in a most unladylike fashion, her hands covering her eyes and her sides aching.

As they all gasped for air and wiped their eyes, Bill slapped Jack on his back and said, "By God, we were able t' come away with a shipment o' rum, a good amount of swag an' most o' the Bahamian treasury, but half o' th' crew never came back. They were afraid o' what Jack would think of next! I damn near took with pneumonia from fallin' int' th' bay, an' we never found Jack's bandana! His dreadlocks smelled o' burned hair fer a week!"

"An' it took Hector two months t' heal up 'is chin, an' grown another scraggly beard! It never did grow back th' same!" Jack grinned. "But th' best part o' th' story was true! We sacked Nassau Port wifout firin' a single shot, alright... from our _guns_!"

William began to laugh again, as he proclaimed, his own mug held high, "Here's to Captain Jack Sparrow! He sacked Nassau Port without firing a single shot... he truly put himself upon the map with that adventure... then nearly blew himself _off _of it!"

And as thunder rumbled and the rain fell harder, four mugs slammed together, with a shout of, "Take what you can!"

And Captain Jack Sparrow shouted with wild glee, "Give nothin' back! I _love_ fireworks! _Drinks all around_!"

۞


End file.
